When I was a teenager, Mortal Combat was at its peak of popularity.
Especially now, as a martial arts guy, I like the concept, but I never was able to get into it.
I know this might not seem relevant to martial arts, but bare with me. It will be…
I think two factors contributed to my not getting into it deeply. The first was economics: we didn’t have the right game console at my house, and we weren’t going to, and whenever I went out to the arcade with my friends, I didn’t have a ton of money to spend on playing at the arcade either.
My best friend in high school, though, had both. Consequently, he was very good. Which was the second contributing factor: Whenever we would play, he would just trash me… and quickly. Like a kung fu master, he knew all the advanced combinations that would defeat me before I even had a chance to get started.
Well, there goes my fifty cents. Guess I’m done for the day…
It was the same story any time we would play at his house. He would beat me Like a redheaded stepchild. This is where it starts to get relevant.
There were two possible scenarios here: one was to continue to beat me quickly and easily, each and every time, in which case I learn nothing.
The second was to use his advanced skill to help me learn. This is what GM Sam Chin does with his family’s martial art of Zhong Xin Dao I Liq Chuan (which I now teach here in Tempe, Arizona).
Setting his ego aside, he drops his level to just above the person he’s working with. He’s just out of reach, just enough to feel like you can reach him. In this way, he guides you along, a little bit at a time. He makes you feel like you can almost beat him; it’s so close you can taste it…
I started to notice that expert Thai boxing coaches do the same thing. I was watching a short video of Saenchai doing just this while working with a very young, foreign fighter.
As he was working with the boy, he was feigning defeat, as if this little kids kicks and punches were enough actually to put a world-class fighter on the ropes, and in so doing, he was sacrificing his ego and investing in the younger fighter, building his skill and confidence as a martial artist.
When you’re looking for a “martial arts class near me,” look for the one being taught by the humble instructor, the one who’s willing to let you win, at least sometimes. Look for an instructor who understands how to invest in loss. If you’re learning from the best, but they’re only interested in always reminding you of that, likely, their skill will never become your skill.
When it comes to finding the right martial arts instructor, it doesn’t matter what they can do, it only matters what they can help you to do.