The Hidden Battle in Martial Arts Training: Confronting the Ego
Martial arts like Kung Fu are revered not only for their effectiveness in self-defense but also for their power to shape character and foster personal growth. Yet, amidst the rigorous training, the relentless discipline, and the pursuit of mastery, there’s a struggle that many practitioners overlook—a battle that takes place not on the mat, but within.
In this week’s blog post, I delve into a personal story that many martial artists might find uncomfortably familiar. On the eve of my first full-contact fight, I faced a challenge that had nothing to do with my opponent and everything to do with my own mindset. It was a moment of clarity that shifted my understanding of what it truly means to train in martial arts and transformed my approach to both my practice and those I train with.
This revelation didn’t just change my outlook; it redefined my journey in martial arts. If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated by slow progress or caught in the trap of comparing yourself to others, you might be closer to a breakthrough than you think. The solution lies not in how you fight, but in how you view things. And it starts with confronting the one opponent we all have in common—the ego.
Welcome back to another edition of my video blog. This week, I want to talk about an insight I had. It was pretty radical for me and definitely changed my entire training experience since then. It happened the night before my first big San Da fight. I don’t know if they’re actually connected, but that’s when it happened.
My first San Da match, which, if you’re not familiar, is like “three-quarters MMA.” It’s punching, kicking, stand-up grappling, and any takedown is legal, but no ground fighting. We were in Texas because I was going to be fighting at what was then called the Tai Chi Legacy, now known as the Legends of Kung Fu, a tournament put on by the Chin Woo Association every year in Texas.
I was really excited, of course, because it was my first full-contact fight. I also thought I was going to spend the weekend with Sifu, which is always a nice treat. There are so many students now, and Sifu is a popular guy, so it’s hard to get some one-on-one time with him.
But as it turned out, that wasn’t the case because some of the other students came from New York and were staying with us in the hotel. So there I was, up late with nerves, thinking about the fight the next day.
I was also thinking about how I thought I’d have the whole weekend alone with Sifu, and the ego always comes into play. I started thinking, “I’m the best student, and I deserve this and that.”
Then, out of the blue, it occurred to me that even if that was true, even if I was the best of all Sifu’s students, nothing else would be different. My level would still be the same, and I’d still have the exact same amount of work left to do, whether I was the best or the worst.
I had this epiphany that it’s not about anyone else. Wherever others are in their progress has no relation to what I’m working on. That realization totally changed my perspective on training.
It removed a lot of the ego from the process, making the training much more enjoyable. You can celebrate your own victories and progress, as well as be happy for and celebrate the progress of others.
When it comes down to it, the most important thing about martial arts, or any group activity, is the community you’re building.
If you can’t step back and take yourself out of the process to enjoy and encourage the successes of others, you’re not getting the most out of what you’re doing. Additionally, you’ll never be able to become a good instructor.
For those of us in my generation, or if you’re one of my peers, we’re responsible for carrying the arts into the next generation. If you can’t take your ego out of the picture to celebrate and encourage the successes of others, then whatever art you’re practicing—whether it’s BJJ, some kind of kung fu, Karate, or Muay Thai—it won’t help those training under or with you.
